A Birth Story

October 26, 2012

What a beautiful day.

The heavens opened and sent us another angel and we couldn't be happier.

Here is how it happened.

I went in to see Dr. H Thursday afternoon, fully expecting her to strip my membranes and put me into labor that night. So I went in and she told me i was 90% effaced and 4-5 cm dilated. Seriously, what is my problem? 4-5 cm...that is like 2 inches. Why in the world has my water not broken? So, she stripped away and I left hopeful. Ellie and I went out to Pink berry and the park. I wanted to relish in her last day as an only child.

That night I spent the entire night waiting. I couldn't help but hope the contractions would start at any moment. I finally fell asleep and to my disappointment woke up for my regular bathroom intervals with no pain whatsoever. Boo. I was feeling so discouraged. It was like I was failing at going into labor. I could tell Leon was hopeful too and I felt like I had even let him down by not succeeding to start labor that night. We woke up early that next morning and went for a walk down the street and through the cemetery near our house. It was cold and the air was brisk. Perfect fall morning to say the least. The leaves were changing all around us, which kind of fit our lives at the moment and the street was somewhat silent, which made for a perfect environment to share with my Mr. We decided that we would go ahead and call Dr. H that morning to take her up on the offer she had made to induce me the day before. Mind you I was very hesitant having just finished the Business of Being Born Documentaries. I know it's silly. I was just worried being induced before 40 weeks had a bad wrap. It kind of screams wimp and I did not want to be a wimp.

I called and was told to come in at 11am. This was so weird to me because it was so different from what happened with Ellie. Something in me fully expects to make the early morning hospital drive because labor had started that night. But here it was late morning and I was driving to the hospital not even in active labor. But whatever, at least I was getting this baby out.

So we got to the hospital and were shown to birthing room four. I took it all in as I settled, knowing that my life would change forever in this little room. I undressed and talked to the nurse. She was very chatty and thought she needed to explain everything to me. I told her I was a PA and she continued to ask me if I was familiar with the 1-10 pain scale and gave me a full on lecture on how oxytocin works. Seriously? Yes, seriously. Anyway, finally and thankfully Dr. H shows up and starts the digital exam. She looks at me confused and asks, "Do you want to guess how dialated you are?" Then goes on to tell me that I am 7-8 cm and 100% effaced. We decided that she would go ahead and break my water.   

Hospital Bag

Going to the Hospital

Then she told me that the process would be fast and told me if I wanted an epidural I needed to get one now. I had been entertaining the idea of natural child birth since Elle was born. I didn't have anything to prove, I just wanted to know what it felt like. I didn't read any books or take any classes so I was unsure if I was mentally prepared or not. Lots of people do it, right? I mean women since the beginning of time have been doing it, it can't be that bad. I can do it too.

Well, it was worse, much, much worse. I never though pain like that was possible. It came on gradually and it was hard at first, but I would just close my eyes and imagine I was the ocean and each contraction was a wave that would build up and release. This helped until it got worse. I didn't want anyone talking to me, touching me, or telling me what to do. And for some reason every person in the room was doing all three of those things (except Leon of course he must have been scared out of his mind). I was so unsure of what to do. I mean I had no IV, no fetal monitors, no blood pressure cuff, nothing attached to my body whatsoever, but I couldn't even imagine moving positions or walking around. I eventually tried different positions but nothing helped with this awful pain. 

Then came the question of when do I push. With Ellie the nurses and doctor were monitoring my contractions and they just told me when to push, but this time around I was doing everything myself and I had no idea what I was doing. The doctor said I would just know when to push which meant nothing to me. Then all of a sudden I understood. I couldn't help but push. Yet it was so painful I could feel myself holding back. I was so scared of the pain that I decided to prolong it haha. I was literally screaming and crying and yelling, "I can't do this". Then the doctor was yelling at me "Yes you can Brittany. You can do this" I felt like I was in trouble from my teacher, and I just wanted to say sorry. I finally decided to just push this child out.

 I pushed. And I pushed. And I could see his head crowing. This is the most amazing thing one will ever see. I love having a mirror when I deliver because I would hate to miss this moment. The moment when you see your child for the first time. His little perfectly round head was the cause of so much pain but I just had to see more. His head finally came out. Then the shoulders, one by one and the rest just slid out. After 2 hours of labor and 15 min of pushing we had ourselves a baby.

They grabbed him and put him directly on my chest. I was shaking from the pain. I was crying from the pain and excitement of meeting my son. At this point I thought that you were supposed to feel good. I was in so much pain still. I felt like a train had just demolished my lower. I just wanted to crawl up and die. But then I looked at him. And he made it all better. I would never wish a natural birth on my worst enemy, but little brother was wide awake looking right into my eyes practically just enveloping himself in my heart. 

He looked just like Ellie, which for some reason made me love him more. His little round head and face reminded me so much of his big sissy. Then I saw his little toes. They were exactly like his Daddy's. I think that is one of my favorite things about him. I love that he is my little Leon. I love every part of him.

This is how Daddy felt

This is how Mommy felt

This is how Mom felt after there was food.

Jet Van Johnson was born at 2:01 pm October 26, 2012

8 pounds 10.6 ounces

21 inches long