Laundry in MA

Oh how I hate laundry (and most of the time MA but that is another post for another time). Its crazy how much more laundry one has to do when a husband and a child is added to their life.  And unsurprisingly we have coin-op laundry in our basement which costs $1.50 to wash a load and $1.50 to dry a load. I love how Boston rapes my bank account up and down for anything and everything. Anyways, Ellie and I thought that it might be faster and cheaper to take our laundry to the laundromat down the street. And boy was I wrong. They ended up charging $2.50! Naturally, since I am ridiculously cheap, I decided to just wash one load and do the rest at home. While we waited for our wash Ells and I did a little laundromat photo shoot. This outfit so reminds me of Alexandra circa 2010 in the Belmont of a different life. Ellie had so much fun in this new environment playing with the basket and the dryer sheets haha. Don't even try to tell me this little mama is not to die for. She is getting so big and more fun every day. Leon is always telling me that she is all mama.  From her little fiesty mood swings lol to her cute little toes. This little girl sure is loved.

Auggie the Doggie

Meet Auggie. This little furry guy is Ellie's new best friend! She doesn't go anywhere without Auggie, seriously. She always asks, "Dog? Dog?" And when she sees him she puts out her little arms and wiggles her fingers singnaling that she needs him in her arms. I told you she loves dogs, but I'm not sure anyone could understand how much until they see this little duo in action.  I am not the biggest animal fan, so I'm not sure where she learned to love them so much...must have been Itchy. She will just lay on the ground and roll around with Auggie. Every once in a while you might find Mommy joining in the fun. Ellie loves to carry Auggie everywhere, mind you that Auggie is just as big, if not bigger than Ellie herself. It is quite the sight. Auggie even has to come to the bathroom when Ellie takes her bath haha. She has also had this new thing with rubbing fabrics. It is mostly my shirt but Auggie's ears have recently caught her attention. We just got a double jogging stroller and Auggie get buckled in the second seat haha for now. Have I mentioned recently that I love this little girl. Nothing cuter. And this dog, best fifteen dollars I've ever spent.

Daycare

     This week has been the hardest week I have had in a long time.  And it is safe to say that I have had some emotional roller coaster weeks in my life, but putting the love of my life in daycare for the first time is like none other.  Talk about gut wrenching and soul sucking. I want to cry everyday. I can feel the panic and anxiety creeping in. I think I need a prescription for Xanax haha. 

     Why am I so emotionally distrought over this situation you ask? Well, I am part of a culture that basically looks at daycare as the bottom of the food chain. So, naturally I have always thought of it as such. I mean I minored in Family Studies at BYU and I was told a million times that being at home with your children is the most important place a woman can be. And I agree but all things in proportion. There really is only so many times you can hear in church that a woman gave up this amazing carrer to be a full time mommy and not start to feel like the scum of the earth because your child is in daycare while you finish school. Don't they understand that my heart longs to be at home with my baby reading books, playing peek-a-boo, or just snuggling and watching Elmo.  But what do I say when she asks about when I was a kid what I wanted to be when I grew up? How can I tell her to never give up on her dreams if I gave up on mine? And what about if I know that no matter what happens in life it is my responsibility to ensure that there is food in her mouth and a roof over her head?  An then what happens if one day, heaven forbid, something awful happens to Daddy and it is only me and her? What happens then? 

     As you can see I am in a constant battle with myself.  My heart belongs to Ellie and wants to be with her every second of everyday.  But my brain knows I have to finish what I started and show her that you can do anything you put your mind to.  How do I find balance between the two? Is it ok for a Mormon mom to work? Will you be judged by others for putting your child in the dreaded "daycare"? Or will you just be pitied for doing so? Maybe I'm just self concious because I feel so guilty?

  I know that this is only temporary and that come April she will be daycare free, but there has to be a way to find balance in this all. I think I just need to give myself permission to finish school and be a mom at the same time.  I never planned on having a baby before I was done with school. In fact, this is entirely the reason that I didn't go to medical school in the first place. And yet, here I am, baby in one arm books in the other, trying to walk across the tight rope of life.  Hold on tight because sometimes it can be a bumpy ride.

     

Ellie's First Birthday

September 14, 2010. The. best. day. ever.

 Honestly, no other day has ever changed the course of my life like Ellie's birthday. I mean my first positive pregnancy test did a good number on my life. And of course my wedding might be a close second. But the moment I set eyes on this little piece of heavenly perfection I like to call Ellie, I truly emerged into a mother.  I have been a mama for one whole year!  I can't believe how big she has gotten and how much we have both grown into each other. She is my life and I love her with everything that I am. Can I say I highly recommend motherhood? Oh and I even more highly recommend little girls. 

So, for Ellie's birthday I got to go to work a little late, which gave me and baby girl a little snuggle time in the am. She took her bath and got ready for the day.

After her bath, Ellie and I sat on the kitchen rug, where we often have picnics since we are currently looking for a kitchen table, and ate some yummy scrambled eggs. Then it was time for the birthday outfit and a little Veggie Tales.

I snuck out and Ellie got to enjoy some bonding time with Mimi.  Thankfully, the princess decided to drop by the hospital to have lunch with Mommy.

She was the cutest baby that hospital had ever seen haha. Josephina always says, "There is only one cute baby, and every mom has it". True, true my friend.

Then Ellie got to go shopping with Mimi. Isn't that every girls birthday dream, a nice little shopping spree? Don't tell Leon but we are getting her nice and girly young.

After her shopping trip, Grandpa came to visit and took us out for a birthday dinner.

We then came home and had a little birthday party. Holli and Carder even got to join in the fun via skype. She ate cupcakes, opened presents, and made a little birthday wish.

One of her favorite presents was the princess car that Mimi got her. She loves to climb on and off. She also loved all of the music that she can dance to.

At one year Ellie:

- has six teeth

- is standing on her own and will walk holding one hand but is too nervous to take that first step

- is eating a variety of foods, her favorite being guacamole

- Loves Sesame Street

-Loves music

-Loves to play with friends, especially Jaxon

- Is constantly talking and mimicing anything you say

- Can consistantly say: mama, mom, dada, daddy (da-ee), baby, bye, hi, dog, baba, nite nite, no, and yeah

- Loves to sprawl out on the bed when she sleeps (often she wakes up in the horizontal position)

- is kind of a picky eater I think she would just rather play than eat

- loves, loves, loves dogs

- loves baby dolls and always gives them kisses and will pat them on the back just like she does when she gives mommy and daddy a hug

- loves to be clapped for will do just about anything if you will clap for her

- says hi and waves to everyone

-Is the love of our lives and will be forever!

Happy First Birthday Ellie Callait Johnson

Mommy and Daddy love you to the moon and back!

Salem, MA

Bah! Massachusettes sure keeps us busy.  This week we have been so lucky to have Mimi come and visit. I don't know what I would do without her. I am still working long hours and missing my Ellie Bean like crazy. I am learning a lot and really loving the opportunity, but nothing feels as right as holding a little blonde haired blue eyed princess in your arms.

So, for the weekend we decided to take a little Sunday drive to Salem, MA. A little family bonding time. If the first thought that jumps into your mind is "Witches", we are on the same page my friend. In fact, I remember being in grade school and googling the Salem witch trials to desperately find out more information. I know way more that a person should know haha.  It is quite interesting how the town has capitalized on such a tradgedy. A witch museum here, a witch brewery there.  It was a fun day nonetheless and I must go back around halloween.

Sunday Best

Daddy playing dolls (haha sometimes I hear the dolls having political conversations about the meaning of capitalism or what a democracy is and I laugh so hard) 

Muah I love that face of hers

Mommy and Ellie

The Witch Museum

The Johnson Family

Can't turn down a photo op with a pirate right? Ellie was a little frightened by the guy lol.

The graveyard of some of the judges in the witch trials 

Daddy and Ellie

Look at that sad face. I guess Ellie didn't want to be a witch, she is just too sweet.

Her poor little nose was getting a little cold down by the water

Mommy and Ellie like to dance when we are having a good time

Giving Holli a view of the whole outfit (she likes when I do that)

Needless to say, we had a very fun day together. Kind of sad that Mimi didn't get in any pictures, but she was there too. I might have already watched two more documentaries on the witch trials since we have been back haha, don't judge me. Love and miss you all!

Love,
Us

A new normal

This is a phrase the doctor I work with right now says all the the time.  "Your body is on vacation", she says, "And when you deliver the baby your body might not go back to normal but it will find a new normal."

I feel like I am that pregnant woman again. Haha no I'm not 50 pounds heavier, actually quite the contrary these days since I am usually too busy to make time to eat. I just feel like my life is in an adjustment period. Here I am in Belmont Massachusettes, starting a new phase of school, starting a new phase of life, and just trying to make it all work.
Leon has started school and he absolutely loves it. Law school is definately a lot of work, but he is learning and making lots of friends and he is happy. I am so proud of my Mr. I am getting my clinical rotations done and loving every minute of it, but it is also a lot of work. I think the hardest thing to do is to find a balance in our new life, to figure out our new normal.
So we have moved into our new apartment, and I have been spending every spare second to put a drape up here and a picture up there. We are definately not even close to done nesting, but we have made a little progress so I thought I would share some pics of the new place.

The dining room (Yay for BYU degrees!!)

Haha the boxes are gone now and the kitchen is a little cleaner but this is where the culinary magic will happen

Our bedroom

Ellie's room: I modged podged her toy closet and it made me feel like a traditional mormon mom...I loved it. 

Our living room...find Ellie

We have started to settle in, but I have to admit I miss my little Arizonian paridise and all my amazing Arizona friends. I'm sure we will make more friends and the place will feel more like home, but until then, I love you Arizona, and I wish that Harvard was located in your warm arms.  I miss you family and I know we are very far away, but please don't forget us and come visit whenever you can. We do have three bedrooms now so one will always be calling your name (Kelsie, Kelsie, Kelsie come visit us!).
I will just leave you with a little gem of my favorite little cutie and her new favorite toy...

The Remote!

We love and miss you all!
Love, Us