Ellie Lately

My sweet angel two months

This is Ellie's best friend

I love those sweet lips

Ellie meeting Santa for the first time

Those cheeks get bigger everyday...I love it

So here are a few more recent pics of my little peanut.  I'm so happy to be half way done with my academic year and back with the joy of my life.

The little one has started to notice her hands and toes.  She is always wanting to suck on those precious little phalanges. It kinda drives me nuts. Especially when you are trying to get a good smile for her three month pictures.

She is getting so fun too. She is always smiling and really loves music. I've been trying to learn some christmas songs on the paino and Ellie and I sing Picture a Christmas just about everyday together lol.

Well hope you enjoy the sweet pictures and have a merry Christmas

Love,
The Johnsons

Dear Ellie

Dear Ellie,

I just wanted you to know I was thinking about you today.  I was thinking about our life together and how grateful I am for you.  I was thinking about how much I love to cuddle you.  How you always smell like heaven and sound like an angel.  I love the way you sigh at night and sometimes giggle in your sleep.  Those sleepy smiles are my favorite.  I love your big blue eyes and how they sparkle in the sun.  I love how you sneeze every time we walk outside.  I even love the way you gulp down your bottles like you are a starving baby even though you just ate an hour ago.

I want you to know I can't wait until we get to play together everyday.  I sometimes panic about how fast you are growing up.  I think about when you start school and what I am going to do without you all day. But it makes me happy to think about making after school treats with you and finding out what your favorite things to cook and eat are.  I can't wait to pack your lunches and kiss that sweet little mouth when I drop you off at school everyday.  When you come home I promise to spend every second with you.

 I will encourage you to do what ever sport you would like and will probably sign you up for dance and piano whether you like it or not. But I also promise to sit with you and help you learn to play and listen to you and tell you how good you are getting and how proud of you I am.  I will never miss a recital or a game.  I will be the loudest mom there and I hope you don't get embarrassed and understand that I am just a cheerleader at heart.  There will never be a moment in your life that you won't be able to count on me for anything. You are the one person in the world I would literally give up everything for.

I want you to know that learning is something I love.  I will always read books to you and do puzzles with you and take you to museums.  I hope you love to travel and learn about new places as much as I do because we will do a lot of that together.  I can't wait to take you to London and show you my favorite places in the world.  I will let you feed the swans at Kensington gardens and take you to see all the beautiful castles.  I will tell you about all of the kings and queens and leave out all of the gory dark stuff until you are older.  We will play at Holland park and ride the tube all around the city.  You will love the big red buses and the water fountain in front of the national gallery (you are allowed to swim in it during the summer ;) ) I will always be there to help you with your homework, but don't be mad when I seem like I know everything.  Sometimes I do that and I am working really hard to stop.  I will always push you to do your best and tell you anything is possible.  I hope you know that little one...anything is possible if you put your mind to it.

I also want you to know I love reading scriptures with you.  You are my little love and inspire me everyday.  I hope you know I love the gospel and always will.  Don't ever make plans on Monday night and Yes you are going to mutual...no matter how much homework you have.  Prayers are where you find strength my love.  They will become more and more important as you grow.  I can't wait to hear your sweet prayers and when you get older and life gets harder I can't wait to hear your humble heartfelt prayers.  I always pray for you.  I know Heavenly Father loves you and will listen and answer your prayers when the time is right.

Ellie I want you to know that sometimes I cry too.  Sometimes I'm not strong.  Sometimes I hurt.  Sometimes I'm scared.  But also know that no matter how many tears I cry or how bad I'm hurting that I know Heavenly Father loves me and that I'm not going to give up. However long and hard the road may be I will never give up.  I hope I can teach you to never give up as well. Know that there are somethings you can change and there are somethings you can not change.  It takes a long time to figure out how to differentiate between the two, but it is very important to do.  Have courage my dear child to stand up for what is right. Know that you are a daughter of God and that you are the jewel of my heart. Also know that you are the reason I wake up every morning.  You are the last face I see when I go to bed at night.  If you weren't real I don't think I could make up someone so perfect for me.  I am amazed at how much Heavenly Father loves me...he gave me you.  After all the mistakes I've made and all my imperfections...he gave me you.

I think sometimes about how everyone is someone's "ellie".  About how we all are Heavenly Father's "ellies".  It gives me perspective on the love that God has for us all.  I hope you treat others with respect and kindness.  I hope you know your worth and that you are confident in all that you do.  I hope that you never quit. I hope that you live a life that you are proud of.  I hope others can see Christ through you. I hope that you are honest.  I hope you are happy. I promise to do everything I can to give you a great life and to teach you about laughing, love, books, medicine, dancing, singing, forgiveness, and all the other things that I hold as important gifts of life.  Never forget that I will never stop loving you.  You make my days bright and my nights sparkle.

Love Mommy

Ellie will be three months tomorrow.  I can't believe how time has flown. She is seriously the best thing that has ever happened to me and I am so grateful to have this little pumpkin in my life. I know I have been a horrible blogger but here is what has been going on with the members in our family. The mama has finished almost two and a half semesters of school! I officially have only eighteen months of school left.  We have been going through a quick two week course that has been from seven until five everyday on urology and neurology. I honestly sit in class and think about the little one everyday.  I have been able to keep my grades stable and am getting through just fine considering my role as a new mama. The little one has been very busy growing.  She spends most of her free time catching up on Z's and having the world oooo and ahhhh over her.  She loves to take baths still and kicking and giggling are her favorite.  Aunt Kelsie has been teaching her about the piano and music and she is loving listening to her auntie sing.  I've been trying to teach her all the best Christmas songs but she seems more interested in Flo Rida and Rhianna.   She doesn't like tummy time and loves getting walked around the house. She pretty much sleeps through the night and the mornings with the princess are the best!! She will open her beautiful blue eyes and just smile at you.  Her laughs are contagious and she seriously just makes anyone around her happy.  Its hard not to just love her. At her doctor's appointment a few weeks ago she weighed 11 pounds 6 ounces and was 24 inches long.  Everyone keeps saying she is so tiny but she is getting bigger and bigger everyday.  I wish there was a way to keep her tiny forever.  I am so sorry that i have no new pics on my computer due to a lack of a camera cord, but no worries we will fix that soon. Just wanted to give you all a quick update so you know that we are alive and well.
Love
The Johnsons

One Month

The life of Ellie Callait Johnson has officially hit one month today.  The little princess is still the most perfect baby ever.  She now cries a little more than she used to. Heaven forbid she might be realizing that this is how she gets what she wants lol. Her days are spent lounging around the house being waited on hand and foot. When she is not reading Russian fairy tales with Dad she is reading pathophysiology with mom. She loves to read books, but unfortunately she doesn't look at the pictures too well in her kid books just yet so she is read books like Bates guide to physical examination and Sean Hannity's political pieces. By the time this little gal is three she will be able to give a complete physical and talk to you about the problems in the American government...in both english and russian haha. We have started referring to her as our little democrat because she gets in moods where she wants her food and she wants it now.  And she will only take it from the bottle because she doesn't want to work for it. Lately we have broken her of that deadly mind set. At one month she is eating about three or four ounces at every setting, she smiles when you play with her bottom lip, she loves to cuddle (sometimes she will cry and the only thing she wanted was to be laying on someones tummy), she still has clogged tear ducts and her eyes water and get goopies a lot, she likes to grunt all night long (and I mean loudly...she grunts really loudly she could wake up the neighbors), she loves bath time and kicking her legs around in the water, she also loves to stretch, she likes to sing ABCs with mom (and jaxon or carder), she likes to sleep on her dads chest and when she is taken off that claimed bed of hers she will always wake right up.  We could not ask for a better child.  She honestly is the reason behind everything I do. She motivates me to get through the day because I know if I do I get to come home to her sweet face. I hope one day she realizes how hard I have worked and what I have accomplished and knows that anything is possible in this world.  Everything in life that I have been through seems so bland compared to each day I spend with her. I love her with all my heart and am beyond grateful to be her mother.  Speaking of mothers my good friend Katie also had her baby Camden Olivia.  She is two weeks younger than Belly and they got to meet for the first time today.  They are going to be best friends as Katie and I truck through PA school. This is their first picture together.

Its amazing how big she looks in comparison. I hate that she gets bigger and bigger everyday. I wish there were a way to keep her this small forever.

true confessions

So life has been more than crazy the past two and a half weeks. We are totally and completely in love with our beautiful daughter, but we are both exhausted.  I had one of my PA professors come up congradulate me and ask how I was doing. I replied with an honest "Im exhausted" and he commented "well weren't you exhausted before" implying that being a first year PA student is comparable to motherhood. I just laughed and told him, "I didn't know the meaning of exhaustion before Ellie was born".  Maybe its because I am a first time mom and a first year graduate student not only trying to keep my baby alive and healthy but learn enough medicine to keep other people alive and healthy as well. But I have taken on quite a task and there are days even I don't know how I do it. Basically our day starts out with a six am pump session, then getting ready for school, an eight am pump session, three hours at school, rush home for lunch and another pump session, another couple hours at school, rush home for another pump session (meanwhile the tank has eaten all the food I have previously pumped for her), try to get in some study time (but honestly when I have the choice to just sit on my bed and rub her back and feet instead of studying...I choose that everytime), make dinner, give Ellie a bath, feed her, change her diaper, pump more, fall asleep with my make up and clothes on, wake up by her little grunts every three hours to feed/change her, and wake up and do it all over again. I just got over a little cold and I swear the day i feel better Leon gets one ten times worse.  He does all the night time duties so I'm sure he isn't getting much sleep.  I got to school the other day and looked down at my shoes only to realize I was wearing them on the wrong feet. I don't think we have a piece of furniture that hasn't been urinated on. Leon has even been pooped on twice in the past two weeks. Its funny how bodily functions consume a parents mind. I am desperately wanting her to burp everytime she eats so she dosen't spit up and then when she is done i just wait for the sound that tells me its time to change that dipey.  Sleeping in doesn't exsist anymore and leon's ME time is pretty much a lost cause. I mean all the weight I put on for this little chicka is literally disappearing because I have to choose whether to eat, shower, or sleep. But those beautiful blue eyes and contagious smile make up for it all.  I still am trying to find the right balance of school and family time. I swear I think about quitting school everyday because I miss that little girl so much.  There is nothing like being a mom and I can only imagine how much crazier life is going to get but we are enjoying every minute with our amazing baby. She reminds us everyday why life is worth living and what truly is important. The sounds she makes and the way she smells when you breath her in makes me believe in everything good this world has to offer. I can't say this is easy and if you asked me if I would do it the same all over again i might be tempted to tell you no way...but I know I would be lying.

One Week

This week has been the best, most exhausting, and most stressful week of my life.  Having Ellie in our lives feels so right and so amazing. I have never loved anything the way I love her. Just looking at her can make me cry because I am so grateful to have been given such a beautiful and amazing gift. Becoming a mom for the first time has been a priceless experience.  Ellie is such a good baby she never cries, she sleeps for most of the day and almost all night.  When she does wake up at night I can just hear her rooting and cooing which wakes me up and lets me know when to feed her.  She has had her share of accidents already though. This morning in particular I was changing her diaper and didn't put anything under the couch and she urinated all over our couch.  Leon heard me scream and left the bath he was filling up, then noticed a trickling sound.  The bath was overflowing and water flooded the kitchen counter and floor.  We couldn't help but laugh at our crazy morning. She lost her umbilical chord too :( She is growing so fast.  Holli and Mimi came to visit this week with the boys. Holli was nice enough to do a newborn shoot with miss Ellie Belly. Her are some of her creations.

She loves to eat her fingers and put her fingers in her eyes...this does not make Mom very happy lol

These are just a few of our precious little one.  This week has flown by and has been full of surprise little smiles and so much happiness.  Our little one is the best thing that has ever happened to us.  She is perfect in every way and we can't wait to spend the rest of our lives loving her.

Life is Beautiful

Same day two posts...I think that is the best Leon and I will ever do lol.  We have both had the most amazing week of our lives.  I have been so anxious since the last week of August when I found a wet spot on my jeans and made my first trip to the hospital.  We went to San Diego for my summer break and spent the week lounging on the beach, kayaking, and getting cultured by Shakespeare.

Leon and I at the Old Globe Theatre

La Jolla Shores after Kayaking

Leon and I at Newport

The day we were suppose to leave I went to the DMV and when I came back I found the wet spot...so I naturally thought my water broke because I couldn't have possibly peed my pants without knowing it right?  I went to the hospital and sure enough I wasn't even dilated or effaced...I just peed my pants.  That was Monday and on Thursday we went to Thatcher to spend some time with Leon's family before school started up again.  I got really nervous Thursday night because Ellie (who was a big time mover) hadn't moved for an hour or two.  I again went to the hospital (What a lame first time mom I know two hospital visits in one week lol) and they found the heartbeat.  I was so relieved! But they were concerned about my contractions so they gave me a shot of trib and told me to come back the next day.  I had dilated to a three and was 50% effaced.  The next day i lost my plug and continued with the contractions.  I went in again that night and was 4cm and 70%.  They flew me in a helicopter back to Mesa all alone. I was so scared and missed my husband.  I got there and they checked me and nothing changed so they sent me home.  I felt like it was time after that and I was so anxious from that moment forward, googling everything about how to put yourself into labor naturally.  Finally at 38 wks my doctor decided he would strip my membranes and I went into labor that night. I started to feel menstrual like cramps and waited an hour in fear of another false scared.  I went to the hospital around four thirty (Leon was so excited lol) and it was the real deal this time and I went into the triage 90% and 5cm.  They admitted me right away and I got the epidural 10min later. It was amazing. After that I felt nothing and Leon and I cuddled in the hospital bed until it was time.  Dr. Huish came in at 7:30 and broke my water (poor Ellie has a little scratch on her head as proof).  Then the cuddling until about tenish and I started pushing at eleven and baby Ellie came out at 11:48 am.  I was pushing for about an hour and when they put the little angel on my chest right after she came out I started to cry.  This little girl all of a sudden was real and so incredible.  I looked at my husband and he was teary eyed too.  Our lives had just changed forever...and it felt so good.

My brand new addition...I look so tired

That day Grandma Julie, Mimi, Jaxon, Aunt Lisa, Taylor, Uncle Jim, Melissa, Megan, Carlie, Kali, Maddie, and sister Richards all came to visit us in the hospital.  I loved the company but naturally had to entertain the guests while "Dad" hogged the baby.  I wanted so badly to sleep with her that night but they told me not to fall asleep with her in the bed because she might fall off and break her skull.  So I just did not really go to sleep.  I couldn't put the baby down I wanted to laugh and cry and scream for joy all at the same time.  All I could do was sit and pray to Heavenly Father and thank him for the amazing blessings I have been given. I watched my sweet husband sleeping on the couch next to my bed and looked at the amazing child in my arms and knew that I was so loved by my Heavenly Father.  I can't believe how much my life has changed for the better because of my amazing little family.

Daddy and Ellie leaving the hospital

My perfect piece of heaven

Ellie Belly

Daddy being a baby hog lol

Ellie sleeping with Daddy while Mommy gets ready for school (Not fair)

My family is amazing and I am so far beyond blessed to have the beautiful child and amazing husband that I do. I will forever be thankful for Heaven's generosity.  I love this baby!!

Ellie Callait Johnson

Leon here. Brittany has decided to allow me to post from time to time. I guess a bad post is better than no post at all right? Well, I just wanted to let everyone know that we have a beautiful, wonderful new addition to our family! We named her Ellie Callait Johnson. One might ask, "What's up with that middle name?" I'll tell you. Ellie Johnson is just such an all-American, vanilla name, so we wanted to spice it up a little bit with the middle name rather than going with the usual Marie or Anne. Callait is an ancient Greek word that means beautiful and honorable. It is pronounced ku-lay. We hope that Ellie will live up to this name by being beautiful both inside and out, and by always striving to be honorable in the choices she makes throughout her life.

Brittany with her oxygen mask about an hour before starting to push

So here's the story: on Monday, September 13, we went to the doctor's office and had him strip Brittany's membranes in hopes that we could start labor a little sooner than her due date of the 27th. We didn't think it would happen soon if it worked, but to our surprise, Brittany started having powerful contractions at about 2 a.m. on Tuesday morning. Not wanting a repeat episode of our adventure in Thatcher when they flew Brittany out to Mesa in a helicopter, we waited a few hours to be sure it was the real deal before going to the hospital. Once we got there, Brittany was already 5 centimeters dilated and 90% effaced. They gave her an epidural as soon as they admitted her and then we just napped until about 10 a.m. We had a big scare at about that time because the nurse came in and gave Brittany an oxygen mask, explaining to us that each time Brittany had a contraction, the baby's heart rate dropped drastically. She said that maybe a cord was wrapped around Ellie's neck. This worried us a little bit (well it worried Brittany a lot), and each time she had a contraction we could see that the heart rate went down from around 150 bpm to about 60 bpm. However, the nurse didn't seem to be too worried about it and said that if it was serious the doctor would be in there to help out.

Our little Ellie just after coming from heaven



So, Brittany continued to contract and dilate until about 11 a.m., when the doctor came in and said that it was time to push! It was so exciting and Brittany did such a good job. It made me feel so much love towards her to see her doing such a good job and giving her all to make sure our baby girl  came into the world safely. What an experience it was when I first saw her head protrude a little bit! I could see from the first glance that she already had a lot of gorgeous blond hair. Brittany kept on pushing and finally got to the point where the head stopped going back in so much each time. It was very sad for me to see that the doctor decided to do an episiotomy, I was shocked to see him just grab some scissors and make a huge cut. But it worked and sweet little Ellie came into the world at 11:48 a.m. on Tuesday, September 14, 2010. We were so grateful to Heavenly Father for sending us such a healthy, happy baby. She hardly cried at all when she came out, which we thought was a little weird, but it turns out that she just isn't a big crier.  They weighed and measured her, and she came in at 7 pounds 1 ounce and 20" long. As soon as the birth was done Brittany said, "That really wasn't bad at all, I could do this again soon." And the truth is that she was blessed to have a smooth delivery.

Mommy with our little angel

After the delivery, we were surprised to have a visit from my uncle Jim. He was the first to come visit us and we were very grateful for his support and caring. After that, we were moved to the post-partum room and enjoyed receiving visits from my mom Julie, Brittany's mom Jackie, Britt's brother Jaxon, and my sister Lisa. Several of Brittany's classmates and friends from PA school also came to congratulate us and wish us well. Ellie was certainly the star of the room and daddy may have been a little too much of a baby hog, so people didn't get to hold her very much, but I just wanted to hold her close and be with her as much as I could. I just wanted her to know that her daddy will always be there for her to take care of her and love her.

Daddy with Doctor Huish and baby Ellie

The first night with her was something to always remember. She slept like an angel and mommy and daddy just got to hold her and cuddle her all night. I don't want to count my chickens before they hatch, but it seems like Ellie is going to be a very chill baby. She almost never cries, and when she does, she stops as soon as we get her fed or warmer or whatever it is that she wants.

Well, I have much more to write, but I'm going to have to do it in a later post. Talk to you later!

Be still, my soul; the Lord is on thy side;
Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain;
Leave to thy God to order and provide;
In every change He faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul; thy best, thy heavenly, Friend
Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.

Be still, my soul; thy God doth undertake
To guide the future as He has the past.
Thy hope, thy confidence, let nothing shake;
All now mysterious shall be bright at last.
Be still, my soul; the waves and winds still know
His voice who ruled them while He dwelt below.

Be still, my soul; the hour is hastening on
When we shall be forever with the Lord,
When disappointment, grief, and fear are gone,
Sorrow forgot, love's purest joys restored.
Be still, my soul; when change and tears are past,
All safe and blessed we shall meet at last.

    This week has been new and exciting, yet extremely hard and lonely.  Starting PA school is such an adventure I am having a blast knowing that this is what my professional life's work will be. But I'm also scared and allowing all my insecurities to make me vulnerable to the idea that I am not competent enough to do this.  So in sacrament today, I struggled as I thought about how much I missed my husband and how badly I wished I could be in his big loving and comforting arms. Its amazing how a hug from that man can take the world off my shoulders.  I especially missed him on fathers day, as I thought of the amazing father he will be.  I opened my hymn book to my favorite sacrament hymn and as I read the words to this song they took on new meaning to me.  I know that being alone in my current situation makes me extremely emotional and scared (especially because I live on the first floor and illegal mexicans are my biggest fear), but I also know that the loneliness is temporary and that even though I have no friends in Arizona, Heavenly Father will always be there to comfort and love me.  The Lord really does have power over all and He has led me to Arizona and the PA program because he knows I can help serve His children. I need to remember that if the Lord believes in me that I have no reason not to be confident. I miss and love you with all my heart Leo! If you decide that you want to come home I would be behind you all the way ;) but seriously...

Blogging

Why is blogging so hard?!?! I am a college graduate and still cannot figure out how to put pictures onto a blog post...Holli I need your help.  I feel like everyone has a blog and since Leon and I have officially retired from facebook we decided its about time to start a family blog. We hope this helps us to be able to allow our friends and family to keep up on whats going on in our lives. So lets start out with an update...Leon and I are still in Provo ( I know its horrible!) and he is finishing up his bachelors degree.  I am sitting in our little apartment daydreaming about being out on La Jolla Shores with Leon and my family, laying out in the sun, eating some shaved ice, and reading about celebrity gossip.  But I guess since Leon would throw up in his mouth if People or US weekly came to our mailbox and BYU cable thinks that providing us with more foreign channels than english ones (and completely cutting me off from E! and my Kardashian sisters) is funny or something, I have to disgust myself by learning about the repulsive destruction to our country that is being caused by the socialist Obama administration through my friends at Fox news.  I'm also keeping myself informed and appalled by reading Mitt Romney's new book.  I can't help but fantasize about my two political heros running in 2012 together (can you just see it??? Mitt and Glenn you would be my dream republican ticket).  We are getting ready to go apartment shopping this weekend in Mesa!! Yay! I can't wait to eat some of that delicious mexican food that you can only find in Arizona. Leon can't wait to go home too.  Leon is still playing softball in his old man league. It is so fun for me to watch because he gets yelled at every time by his teammates for hitting too many home runs. I catch him stealing a glance at the BYU field every time we drive by...I think he might miss it a little bit.  I can tell he is getting excited about moving to North Carolina and spending time with Elliot and co. He is also really excited about his internship with cisco and making a little money. I can't wait to start PA school and start to learn again.  Hopefully after this weekend I will have figured out to post pictures because I hate reading blogs without pictures, and I will keep everyone updated!
<3 The Johnsons